I love conversations with my teacher Prudence. She is my meditation teacher.
Recently she reminded me that as a householder yoga student, (this means a person living in and among the world while still in the state of practice with yoga) it is fine for me to desire things. "It is the dharma of the mother to want the best for her child, for a husband to want to advance his career for his family, for a student to want to make the grade. We use the practice to expand our life, not limit it."
What a relief! I've been mis-understanding the role of apaigraha, the yama of non-grasping, in my life. How does this yama apply if I am free to desire? Hmmmm. Meditating on this question lead me to a key awareness. It's subtle. Investigate the nature of the desire.
Where is it coming from? Which quality does it have? Is it an expansive feeling or a contracting one? Expansion rises from inspiration, joy, sustainability. Contraction comes from fear, lack, loss or fear of loss.
This is a simple practice of awareness. If you're feeling expansive about a desire that you're having, awesome. This is a healthy desire for the 'householder' student. But what if you feel contracted? Ahhhh.....Use the asana practice. Get on your mat and ask 'what am I afraid of, what do I think I will lose?' And dismantle the fabric of fear. One thread at a time. Loosen the weave. Source your truth.
I guarantee you will feel the freedom, you will feel…well…a roominess of sorts. Then RISE UP within everything you're doing in your life. Self, work, home, family, body, mind, spirit. This is a sacred practice, a holy one, intended to liberate on any level. On every level. All you have to do is to look inward and do your part. Show up. On your mat and in your life.
Yogi know Thyself.